You are responsible for the one you tame
by Super Saiyajin Priscila
Summary: And words are a source of misunderstandings. Fandom: The Social Network. Pairing: Mark/Eduardo. After the lawsuit, Mark reaches for Eduardo, trying to win his trust back
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: don't own anything here

Note: English is not my first language, beware of possible mistakes!

Hope you enjoy it!

A month after the depositions, Eduardo recieves an email. He freezes when he sees from whom it came.

_no subject_

_from Marck Zuckerberg_

_to Eduardo Saverin_

_We need to talk. You choose the day, hour and place that's good for you. I don't mind flying there._

_Mark_

An answer is instantly taking form in his mind: _Really, how kind of you to let me choose_, but then he realizes that he's not supposed to answer at all, because why would he? He certainly didn't even consider meeting with Mark, why even bother to pick up a fight with the guy?

He tries to be angry at Mark's arrogance, the tone of authority of his message, the fact that he had probably taken for granted that Eduardo would meet him. But his actual anger (it's more of a disappointment) is at himself for the impulse of responding to Mark, as if it was something natural that he had contacted Eduardo, as if he had not just sued him for betrayal, as if there was still any trace left of intimacy between them. There wasn't. He had not known Mark at all; only found out who he was when he had stabbed him from behind.

And still, his instincts had almost pushed him towards Mark like the last three years were nothing.

He knew what to do. Next time, he wouldn't even open the fucking mail.

Except two days later, Mark has replied to his own message and Eduardo doesn't even hesitate to read it.

_No subject_

_From Marck Zuckerberg_

_To Eduardo Saverin_

_I understand if you're too busy. As I said, it's no problem for me to come over. It won't take too much of your time ok? Just… we have to talk. You know._

_M_

Even if he should be reprimanding himself for giving in and reading, he can't help noticing the change in Mark's tone, almost like he's kind of pleading. Which doesn't mean Eduardo's going to comply, like he always did before, back when he couldn't say no to Mark and he thought it was ok doing it for someone he cared so much. He had not realized how damaging this behavior was until the day he had entered Facebook's headquarters only to find his shares had been diluted to 0,3%. So, Eduardo also blamed himself for what happened, for never standing up to Mark when he should. He had just been too blind.

The worst thing was Mark had never really noticed how Eduardo always gave in to him. He probably saw it as the most natural thing in the world – people doing his will.

And there he was, focusing on Mark again, when he knew it would take him nowhere. It didn't matter what Mark thought of him anymore. What mattered was that he would have to act differently from now on, otherwise he would be damned. Again.

Still, Mark's pleading tone doesn't leave his mind for a minute, feeding, against his will, that small part of him that stupidly believes things between them could be sorted out.

_No subject_

_From Marck Zuckerberg_

_To Eduardo Saverin_

_Ok, I see, you're still mad, I get it. That's reasonable. It's what I wanted to talk about, you know? So, will you give me a chance?_

_MZ_

So his anger was reasonable. How reassuring. Only Mark could call it that. Only Mark would find himself in the right to judge his feelings, like _yeah, I can give you permission to be mad, that's reasonable for inferior beings._ And what the hell did he have to say about it anyway? Eduardo let a bitter laugh escape his mouth. Did Mark actually believe he could solve everything just because he suddenly decided he wanted to?

How dare he?

He felt a wave of renewed fury wash trough his body. Mark had managed to make things even worse, he had already gone off limits but it seemed his ability to be a jerk was endless.

And there he was, freaking out all over again.

_No subject_

_From Marck Zuckerberg_

_To Eduardo Saverin_

_Can I just call you?_

_Subject: no_

_From Eduardo Saverin_

_To Marck Zuckerberg_

_Don't._

And at the moment he had decided to reply, even if it was to say _no, _Eduardo new he was inviting Mark back into his life, even if he tried to convince himself otherwise at first. And when Mark asks him why he couldn't call (and nothing in his message suggested he was slightly hurt by Eduardo's answer), he realizes there was no logic in _Because I don't wish to talk to you,_ as it was already talking so he should either accept his proposal or not give him any answer at all. Never ever. And no, he wasn't ready for that. He was ok with ignoring Mark. He was not ok with being forced to decide right away that things were definitely over between them. Yes, he considered himself weak for that. And stupid.

So he opted for agreeing to talk. Maybe it would be easier to make himself clear using his voice. Or maybe things would go a different way.

It was a terrible day of work. He couldn't concentrate for a minute. Tonight Mark was going to call him and he already regretted settling this in the middle of the week. It was going to be a useless day now. Aside from the tightness in his chest and the hours that wouldn't go by, he still wasn't sure he had made the right choice. If he wasn't sure he ever wanted to be friends with Mark again, why had he accepted this?

On top of everything, it was definitely ridiculous that he was not only concerned with himself. He was worried about Mark. Worried about the fucking bastard. What if he had given him hope and ended hurting him even more?

As if Mark cared this much. Still, Eduardo was a decent person. Didn't wish to mess with anyone's feelings. He knew it wasn't only his responsibility, but still. He would try his best to solve things in the best way for them both, even if it involved never talking to Mark again.

When the phone ringed, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and his heart almost jumped out of him. He answered it right way, because he wasn't going to play hard to get and let Mark wait. He had not patience for games.

"_Hi"._ – he said in a voice that was smaller than he had intended.

From the other side of the line, the voice he knew so well sounded as confident as ever.

"_Hi. How are you doing?" - _ Mark spoke, as quickly as he ever did.

That one he couldn't answer, at least not without giving an entire speech.

"_Ok, I realize that was stupid."_

Mark said that and went silent. Eduardo waited a few moments, expecting him to go on, like he was used to, always the one to lead their conversations. When the silence went on, he realized Mark was waiting for _him _to speak. That was weird, Mark actually waiting for him. He sighed.

"_What do you want?"_

"_Already told you; we need to talk."_ – came the slightly annoyed reply. Good old Mark.

"_We are talking. I'm listening."_

"_Don't be ridiculous, you do realize we can't solve this on the phone!"_

Silence.

"_Ok, I didn't call you ridiculous all right?"_

Before Eduardo could complain, he went on.

"_No, listen! Your attitude was ridiculous. Come on, Wardo, you know it's not possible!"_

Mark's voice had trembled when he called him that and the rest of the sentence had sounded insecure, his usually cool tone a bit too high. Maybe he expected to be reprimanded. Eduardo was not going to call attention to this. He didn't wish to go there now.

"_Mark. How come you started looking for me out of nothing?" _

"_See? That's what I'm talking about. It wasn't out of nothing. You assume whatever you want and how am I supposed to unmake this mess using only a damn phone…"_

"_What do you mean I assume whatever I want?"_ – Eduardo's tone is dangerously calm and he can hear Mark gulping, he can almost see the way his eyes widen slightly whenever he's caught by surprise, which is rare.

"_I… It wasn't out of nothing. It wasn't at all. I'd been waiting for you to make contact, assuming you were angry and needed your time to calm down, but then the weeks went by and you wouldn't show up, and I just… I had to do something."_ – Mark sounded honestly lost. Which didn't stop Eduardo from getting angrier.

"_I just needed time to calm down? Is that how you see it?"_

'_Am I wrong? How should I see it then?_ _You can tell me"_ – Mark's voice is a curious mix of defiance and apprehension and Eduardo almost starts throwing everything at his face. He's able to get a hold of himself in time to prevent further humiliation, though. His jaw tightens. Mark is a manipulative bitch.

He doesn't have to justify his actions. He's not getting all worked up over this.

So he simply hangs up on Mark.

Problem is, next day he can't get it out of his mind. Tomorrow will be better, he hopes, but it isn't. Neither is the next day, or the next. And when the week has passed without him getting any peace of mind, he decides it's enough.

_Lets meet_ – he growls on the phone, and can totally picture Mark's smirk at his one more victory.

They are meeting at a coffee shop on the surroundings of Eduardo's house. Mark is the one taking a flight as he had suggested himself. He also said they could set this up to 10am even if his plane was landing at 6, because it was a Saturday and he didn't wish Eduardo to lose his rest.

Not that he had slept at all. When the clock shows 7am, after rolling and tossing on his bed all night, he resists the urge to call Mark and tell him he could go straight to the place. Instead, he just lies down, trying to catch at least a little sleep, and by the time he finally manages to relax, it's time to get up.

Sometimes, Eduardo really believes he likes to torture himself.

He gets there 10 minutes earlier and Mark's already there. He hasn't ordered anything and looks up at Eduardo as soon as he enters the shop, as if he had been doing it every minute. It's not typical of him; Eduardo is used to sitting down in front of Mark without even being acknowledged. And there's usually a big, half drunk something on the table.

This time, Mark looks at him, but his eyes go down as Eduardo approaches his place. _Morning_, he says, and finally looks up again, his face unreadable. Eduardo mumbles something in reply, not quite facing Mark. He calls the waitress and orders

_One coffee (black) with a whole grain bagel and cream cheese_ – and Mark opens his mouth to order his but Eduardo is ahead of him –_ and a double cappuccino with a muffin for him._

The waitress looks at Mark with the note on her hands and she's silently waiting for him to confirm, since she clearly saw his startled expression. Mark nods at her and she leaves.

Eduardo finally looks directly at him. Mark holds his gaze, and it is a tense moment, but he can't help saying "_Well, I was actually going to order a bagel this time. It could even be a whole grain one"_, because it's true, he's come to choose whole grain foods recently, and Eduardo blinks at him, with a look of disbelief, like _Really? After years of me begging you to be healthier, you choose now to start it?_ And Mark shrugs, because it won't make sense if he explains that he had missed Eduardo so much he kind of started following his advices if only to keep something about him.

They don't say anything else, waiting for their orders, as if they knew that whatever was coming, it would go better with full stomachs. Eduardo has crossed his arms and Mark knows that's his defensive posture. He's looking around restlessly. Mark's tapping his fingers on the table, missing his keyboard.

Their food comes and Mark loads his drink with sugar and misses Eduardo reprimanding him with disapproval (and care) written all over his face. He ends up sweetening his cappuccino a little too much only to see what Eduardo would do, but he only raises an eyebrow while taking a huge bite of his bagel.

Mark doesn't look like he's going to initiate anything. He's got that uninterested attitude on his surface but Eduardo knows better, at least this time. Mark sometimes shots him nervous glances and it's because their last talk had ended with him screwing up even worse. He won't risk starting this because he doesn't have a clue.

"_So, what is it that you wanted to say, Mark?"_ – Eduardo asks, and he's decided he's not starting it with a fight, because he knows he would be the only one to be affected. So his plan is letting Mark do most of the talking, because he never does and he's the one who has to explain himself.

"_I… You're still mad at me."_ – and he tries to sound as if it's just a statement, but Eduardo's able to catch the slight complaining in his tone.

He breaths deeply.

"_Shouldn't I?"_

"_There's no way I knew it would go so far."_

"_I don't believe you"_

"_I've wanted us to talk since the… since the dilution. But it was not possible." _

"_Why not?"_

"_Well, you were suing me. I figured you didn't want to talk."_

"_And what changed now?"_

"_Well, I guessed by now you'd have thought better and… hum… made contact. When you didn't, I realized you didn't intend to anymore."_ – and his tone sounds neutral while his eyes go from openly facing Eduardo to staring pointedly at a napkin on their table. His faked lack of interest pisses Eduardo off more than ever, but his words are worse.

"_Mark. Are you holding me responsible for the end of our friendship?"_

"_You're certainly the one who decided to put an end on it!"_

"_You still don't see my reasons. Even after the lawsuit?"_

"_I saw that you mixed everything up!"_

Eduardo stood up and Mark flinched. He tossed some cash on the table, much more than needed to cover his bill and Mark's.

"_I don't have to listen to this bullshit."_ – his voice came louder than he intended, but he couldn't give a damn.

"_Wait, we're not done."_ – Mark said, grabbing his wrist before he could take one step further. Everyone was probably staring now, but neither of them cared. Eduardo looked down at him and instead of fury, Mark saw nothing. It was wrong. Eduardo always let his emotions show up. He was shielding himself.

"_It was never meant to go this way. Don't you get it? It had nothing to do with us, it was all about Facebook. I understand it was your right to sue me for Facebook's issues. I don't understand how other issues got caught in the middle of it."_

"_You think I sued you for Facebook's issues?"_

"_No. You made it pretty clear it was completely personal."_ – and there was evident mockery. Mark realized it too late and lowered his gaze. He looked sorry. It was probably so natural to him that it had escaped his mouth.

Eduardo was silent at this. He wouldn't deny his reasons had been far from professional. It's not that he had consciously decided to sue him as an excuse to throw on his face all he always wanted simply happened. Each day during the lawsuit, he couldn't help bringing personal issues, because Mark was there, he was properly _listening _for the first time, and Eduardo just couldn't hold back anymore, even if it was pathetic that his friend would only pay attention to him with such drastic measures. Mark had listened so carefully because he didn't want to lose. Wasn't it?

Mark shaking his hand brought him back.

"_If our friendship was affected, it wasn't my intention."_

Eduardo shook his head. He perfectly understood this was Mark's weird apology. Normally he would have smiled at this and accepted.

"_You keep dismissing your responsibility."_

Mark noticed he was still holding Eduardo's hand, let it go and blushed. Eduardo did his best to ignore it. But he didn't leave his place.

"_I'll have to disagree with you. I'm here and I'm facing you and I want us to start over."_

Mark admitting to need him _again._ Also, Mark believing he could always had what he wanted. It both made him hopeful and _pissed him off._

"_I don't believe you're being completely honest. Either that or you're really obtuse, and while I can understand you're not particularly good at personal issues, I don't buy your 'It wasn't on purpose' talk"_

Mark actually shut up at this and tightened his jaw, glaring. Now he was being honest. Probably realizing Eduardo was not overlooking his mistakes this time, as he had always done before, which by the way was only his fault.

_This is it_, Eduardo thought. If Mark cared in the slightest, he would be forced to give in now. He strongly resisted the sudden urge to make everything easier for Mark.

"_Ok. How do you want to do it then? Questions and answers? Or just a big, cover-everything deposition from me?"_ – and he was attacking because Eduardo had hit the nail. He wouldn't lose a bit of his calm.

"_This is not another fucking lawsuit Mark. God, don't make this any harder, you're the one who called me here!"_

"_I know! It's just… I'm afraid… It won't work if I just go speaking my mind ok?"_

_Really, you only realized that now, _Eduardo couldn't help but think.

"_Well, I'd rather hear the truth than nothing, which is all I have now."_

"_I would. But you sued me first."_

"_You betrayed me, Mark. You went behind my back."_

"_I was going to talk to you, I was! But it needed to be done quickly! Sean said the investors wouldn't wait, and you were travelling, and I didn't want to give you the bad news over the phone…"_

"_Sean said? You did it because Sean told you to?"_ – Eduardo's tone came low and threatening but what he said truly angered Mark

"_No! I did it because it was the best for Facebook! It was pure business!"_

"_That's what I'm saying, you easily sacrificed our friendship because of business!"_

"_I didn't sacrifice it! I believed we would talk it over and you…_

"_And I would understand and forgive it like I always do, right?"_

Mark had the decency to stay silent, though it was obvious he still wanted to argue. Meanwhile, a battle was going on Eduardo's mind. There was anger and guilt and helplessness.

Then, Mark was speaking and his tone was soft, for once.

"_I had no idea you resented so many things I had done, Wardo. You only made me know at the lawsuit. The dilution was not the cause. It was just your limit. You exploded."_

Eduardo looked up at him. Mark had a pained expression.

"_I don't blame you."_

Eduardo felt a familiar sting in his eyes. Then there was wetness. "_Wardo"_, Mark was calling, reaching for him, but he had already stood up, turning his back on Mark. The place was suddenly too crowded, too loud. He walked outside. The tears were insistent. He couldn't hold them, but he cried silently, tightening his lips.

When he felt he could get a hold of himself again, he returned to his place. Mark had his head slightly bowed. He looked ashamed. Eduardo let out a deep breath and took his sit.

"_Are… are you ok?"_ – Mark asked uncertainly

Eduardo nodded silently. He noticed Mark still looked distressed.

"_I'm not implying I was unaware that I screwed up a lot as a friend… It's just that I never did anything to change it. And you… you never censored me. And then Facebook came and I was blinded by it, I saw it as the first thing I accomplished that really mattered. I had to make it work and I did everything in my power to do it right, and I'm sorry Wardo, but regarding this, I don't regret my decisions. And then, you were suing me. I was so shocked to learn everything you said at the lawsuit. You made me realize what an asshole I was. But I was so angry. Angry with you, ´cause I felt like you deserted Facebook and, well, me. Angry with myself, for letting things go out of control. And only after it was over and you were gone, I… I really…"_

Eduardo resisted the urge to reach out for Mark's hand and sooth him and calm him. Mark had to face the trouble of explaining himself this time. But he looked so distressed that Eduardo wished he could hold him.

"_Anyway, I don't know if anything I said will make a difference for you."_

Eduardo looked seriously at him. He opened his mouth, then closed it, before shaking his head.

Mark held his breath, thinking that now Eduardo would decide if it was ok between them.

Eduardo said nothing, though. His head was bowed and he looked distant and lost in his thoughts. Mark lowered his gaze and tried to wait silently. The main things had been said. It was up to Eduardo now. There was nothing else he could do, right?

Mark loathed the idea of something not depending on him. It felt so weird not having Eduardo's reassurance as soon as he had opened himself to him. Not having him instantly understand Mark's reasons.

On his part, he still couldn't completely grasp Eduardo's reasons. He had not lied; he understood how selfish he had been. But on his opinion, Eduardo had also gone too far. Was it impossible for them to ever be how they were before?

Why wasn't he reaching for Mark with that stupid smile of his and saying they were ok?

"_Let's go? I need to go."_ – Eduardo finally said. Mark didn't say anything back and just stood up mechanically. He was confused to see Eduardo still on his chair studying him. Eduardo had just noticed dark circles under his eyes. Of course he had them too. But it always, always looked worse on Mark, because Mark never slept enough. Anything that deprived him further from rest affected him much more.

Mark was feeling anything but patient right now.

"_What?"_

"_I'll drive you. You don't look well."_

"_I'm fine. I'll just walk."_

"_Don't be a child."_ – Eduardo said firmly, not leaving room for an argument, as he was already heading to the door with Mark following him and feeling actually too spent to argue.

Their way back consisted most of silence. Eduardo's thoughtful one and Mark's self imposed one, since now he was having trouble thinking, which was rare for him. It could be out of exhaustion. Or it could just be that he was panicked. He was screaming on the inside. _What else did Eduardo want from him?_ But this time, maybe the first one in his life, he held his tongue. Wasn't it what people always wished him to do?

He just never thought he would have to be like this with Eduardo.

When Eduardo finally parked in front of Mark's hotel, they had not exchanged one word. Mark stepped out of the car. Eduardo looked up at him with a neutral expression that didn't suit him in the least. It was clearly forced, or so Mark believed.

"_I… I'll talk to you then."_

"_Of course you will."_

Eduardo was gone before Mark could see his reaction at his tone of disbelief


	2. Chapter 2

Eduardo had fallen in love with Mark not long after meeting him. He realized discretion wasn't his nature, but still he tried his most to keep it to himself. It's not that he was absolutely sure he would be rejected. It was just impossible to have a clue how Mark would react to _that_. Being intimate with him already took a lot, now imagine adding this to the package.

Mark became close to him pretty quickly to his standards. Eduardo even believed (without knowing if it was just him being too much of a fool in love) that Mark looked for him more than he did for his other friends, not that it was too much in any case. From his part, Eduardo had always found it pretty natural to show he cared, and even if he held his most deep feelings, as a friend he was already overly attentive.

Well, eventually, he admitted, one gesture or two might have escaped him. Like a hand a little too often on Mark's shoulders. Or always insisting to be the one to take care of him after too many drinks or when he was sick. Or just the way he smiled stupidly every single time he put his eyes on Mark. Who never did anything to stop any of it, by the way. If he noticed, he obviously didn't show. And Eduardo had learned to read small signs that he also cared. A difficult, very foreign language for him, it was. But it had never crossed his mind Mark would be capable of taking advantage of his feelings if he ever knew.

He almost went into shock when Mark had said he _needed him._

The answer had left his mouth almost on its own. _I'm here for you._Because it was the purest truth in the world. But then a few days later Mark had come with the idea of this website. Eduardo was by his side offering all the support he could while keeping an eye on him, because he was truly worried that Mark was turning his feelings away, denying his pain from his ended relationship.

He had managed to take him out for a drink a couple of times during the marathon of creating Facebook. Which was a miracle by itself, even considering he had literally dragged Mark with some help from Chris and Dustin. Only after the second shot, all of them relaxed, one of them had dared bringing up the subject.

"So, Mark. How about Erica?"

It had come very straightforward, but it didn't surprise Mark, who had probably guessed it was eventually coming up since all his friends had been trading worried glances behind his back when they believed he wasn't looking.

"What about her?" – he shrugged. Of course he wasn't making it any easier. God forbid he willingly engaged in this kind of talk.

"You haven't mentioned anything about it, Mark. That's weird even for you. You dated her for months."

He went quiet and there was this unmistakable look on his face that meant he was deeply considering something. Maybe it would be easy after all, thank the beer.

"It wasn't right. I'm just… I'm glad she ended it."

When he noticed everyone was waiting for him to go on, he realized no one was dropping it so soon.

"She was nice and she paid me attention. I never reciprocated it. I feel like I took advantage of her feelings."

The three of them looked at Mark, trying not to open their mouths too wide at his confession. Mark looked like he wanted to vanish. His eyes had gotten red; it was clear he felt awful.

"Dude… that's very nice of you to admit it."

Mark looked up with an uncertain look on his face.

"That's right. Takes a man to do it."

Mark had closed the subject at this point. However, Eduardo believed it had played a role on his attempt at apologizing to the girl, a few weeks later.

Mark had indeed looked more relaxed after his confession. Eduardo also felt relieved, though he had another reasons aside from Mark's peace of mind. And he had remained by his side as he worked day and night. Even if Mark didn't even seem to acknowledge his presence. Mark skipped classes, skipped meals (when Eduardo wasn't there), skipped his almost nonexistent social life. And it's not that Eduardo wasn't glad to see Mark so happy. He would just like to play a role on his happiness, and sometimes he wasn't sure if he did. Sure Mark constantly came to him to discuss new ideas all the time and he gladly listened, feeling flattered that Mark had chosen him to work with, and so happy that Mark enjoyed sharing with him something so important to him. Eduardo knew that this frustration came from that part of him that wanted _more_than friendship. But it had never bothered him so much.

Was he beginning to get hopeful? Had Mark given him _any_reasons for that?

There was his small smile when he noticed Eduardo was still there after his code binge, the way he let himself relax so easily only by Eduardo's side after a hard day of work. Plus, during their talks, Mark would stare at him a little too long, until Eduardo noticed, and then he would look down and blush. Was this any different from how Mark had always acted? Eduardo didn't know anymore.

Well, for all that matter, Eduardo wasn't skipping _his_ classes, though he was sort of leaving his social life behind for the sake of Mark. He had his limits, though. On a particular day, after having studied 5 hours straight, with Mark wired in on the room, he abruptly stood up. A voice rough from lack of use stopped him as he reached the door.

"Where are you going?"

He was indeed surprised Mark had even noticed him leaving.

"Party. Don't know the theme, don't care. Just have to go out tonight."

"Don't overdrink. It's the week of your exams."

As if he was studying for _his_ exams. As if he cared about Eduardo's.

And then the other day, when he intended to return to his room and study, after stopping by to have lunch together:

"Just bring your books here."

Eduardo looked at him. Mark didn't turn away from his computer, but his typing speed slowed down.

"Hum... ok I guess."

And the typing sped up again.

It's not that it had been a complete waste of time. But he totally knew whose fault it was that his grades had slightly dropped that semester. Besides, the whole situation was unusual. It's not that Mark never asked for his company. But this time, he had asked him to simply… stay. Stay with him. And Eduardo did, and bringing his books to study there became an habit which Chris and Dustin never considered questioning.

He couldn't help it. Watching Mark was as fascinating as watching a cat. He could go several hours without moving anything but his eyes and his fingers over the keyboard. If you tried to call his attention, he easily ignored you. If you tried to call him by touching him, he hit you. Occasionally he stretched his arms over his head with some laziness. And when you less expected, he turned his head towards you and yawned, fixing narrowed blue eyes on you.

He was usually finished with his coding when it was terribly late and everyone else was sleeping and Eduardo had dozed off on the couch with books all over his lap. But he sometimes got up when Mark passed by him and they ended talking some more about Mark's progress with the website. A couple of times, they had talked until morning came, because Mark was so excited and full of ideas.

One particular night, a few days before "thefacebook"s conclusion, Eduardo had _forced_Mark take a dinner break and to take a bath. Everyone else was out. They were on the couch enjoying Chinese food. Mark looked distracted, bringing the hashi to his mouth and munching while staring at nothing in particular.

Eduardo leaned over him and brushed some hair from his forehead.

"It was… you know. Sticking to your face, since you just took a shower."

Mark kept blinking at him with a confused expression. Eduardo gathered all of his confidence and smiled at him.

The look on Mark's face had been priceless. He had gasped and looked at every direction but Eduardo's.

But instead of going back to work after eating, he had stayed. They had talked but not much, so there had been a lot of (awkward) silence, which Mark didn't usually stand for so long. Eventually, he had stretched himself over the coach, so that he was almost laying down, and Eduardo thought he might be tired or something, but his eyes actually looked more alert than ever.

In an impulse, he grabbed Mark's legs and put on his lap.

If Mark was surprised, he didn't let it show. What happened was that he started babbling about what colors he should put on "thefacebook". It was weird because Mark never babbled but it was also cute and Eduardo's heart was beating fast and he nodded his approval at Mark's choice of white and blue. He even had the nerve to rest his hand on Mark's legs, which were bare since he was wearing shorts, and they were cold against Eduardo's normally warm skin. Mark squirmed when he did that, but found something to say.

"Wardo, what about you? You stayed here, like, all this time while I worked. I hope you didn't miss anything?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I was working on something too. All the time."

Eduardo gulped. He had really said that loud. Now, Mark had tilted his head and was looking at him curiously.

"How come you never mentioned it to me?" – Mark was sort of pouting. Eduardo almost lost it. Suddenly it was very hard to breath.

"It's a long story, now we're tired. I promise I'll tell you."

"You'd better." – Mark said. He stood up, went to the kitchen to grab another drink, came back and threw one to Eduardo.

Then he sat and put his legs_back_ on Eduardo's lap. When Eduardo looked at him, he had swallowed half the bottle of beer and his cheeks were flushed. It wasn't his first or second drink.

"Maybe I know what it's about."

"Really?"

"U-hum."

"You're so bluffing."

Eduardo raised an eyebrow as Mark giggled. He'd obviously had enough to drink. Mark took a sip of his beer before adding,

"Just try me."

Eduardo held his breath.

"Mark..." - he started, let out a nervous laugh – "It's nothing important ok? You should go to sleep. One more drink and you'll get wasted."

"Come on Wardo, don't be a sissy!" – Mark teased, poking his shoulder.

"Mark." – he said warningly, trying to keep a firm expression on his face instead of the panic he was feeling.

"Whatever." – Mark shrugged. He stood up and felt dizzy. Eduardo steadied him and Mark managed to get to his room.

Eduardo was awake all night, wondering if he had wasted a big chance.

Then one night, after God knew how much time without sleeping, Mark announced he had finished his greatest accomplishment and told Eduardo it was online. He had immediately asked Eduardo for the list with emails from Phoenix's members. Actually, he had demanded it from him. As usual, Eduardo had agreed. Mark was so unusually happy. There was no way Eduardo would stop him.

But when he turned to look at Mark after picking up his laptop, Mark was sitting on his chair, doing this strange movement. Eduardo had even mocked him about it. "Are you praying, Mark?"

Until he realized Mark was actually losing balance.

He was behind him in a minute, in time to catch him from collapsing. He wrapped his arms around his waist and steadied him on the chair. Mark blinked and widened his eyes.

"What? What is it?"

His brain wasn't functioning right anymore from sleep deprivation.

"You almost fell! Jesus, Mark! When was the last time you slept?"

"Can't remember…"

"Let's get you to bed ok?" – he said while still keeping a hold of Mark.

He grabbed him by the waist and lifted him. Mark leaned heavily against him. Eduardo gave him a minute to see if he regained a little strength, but he was limp on Eduardo's arms. When Mark's head fell against his chest, he thought he had passed out. He shook him by the shoulders and Mark mumbled some incoherence. Better. Eduardo tried talking to him, but Mark buried his head deeper on his chest.

There was no way he had any idea what he was doing right?

Cursing under his breath, Eduardo picked him up and carried him to his room, laying him on his bed. He took his flip flops off but left him with his hoodie, since it was a cold evening. He threw the covers over him. Mark instantly curled up on the bed. His breath was troubled, probably from exhaustion. Eduardo frowned and sat on the bed, careful with his movements. He rested his hand on Mark's curls.

Mark opened his eyes slightly. Eduardo froze. But Mark blinked at him once, then twice, before closing his eyes again. Eduardo didn't know if he had finally gotten asleep.

He caressed his hair very softly until Mark's breathing got peaceful. Then he left.

If anything out of the ordinary was going on between them, Mark didn't let it show, not the day after, not on the following days. It was quite the opposite, actually. His focus on "thefacebook" increased as a stupidly high number of people started joining the network.

Eduardo was delighted with their success. At the same time, he was tormented. He didn't know if his mind was tricking him. Most time he believed it was the case. Still, a small part of him was starting to believe that Mark reciprocated his feelings. If you asked Eduardo to justify this belief, though, he would be lost.

That's why he had accepted those girls invitation. He knew it had been stupid from his part. He felt awful knowing he was using someone. But he couldn't help it. He was desperate and had acted like the nineteen year old he was. Plus, how could he predict he was messing with a crazy individual?

At that moment went Christy had called him during class, he wasn't even considering to encourage her or anything. Then, from the corner of his eyes, he had seen Mark. Mark who didn't look slightly bothered by the girls hitting on them. Mark who was paying complete attention to the class, with his usually lifted chin looking even higher. Eduardo felt as if he was being given a message:_Do whatever you like. I don't care._

God, his blood boiled. He knew, he _had to know_ he had no right to expect anything from him, but still, he became unable to think clearly. He was so angry. He told the girls that he and Mark would meet them that night. Mark hadn't argued. He also had not shown any enthusiasm. Eduardo couldn't get it. He knew Mark had this issue with not being popular. While he acted as if he didn't give a damn about a social life, Eduardo knew a part of Mark rejected his own nature. Was that why he was going out with someone he didn't know? It wasn't typical of him at all.

On top of everything, he had found out Mark had been hiding from him that letter where he was being threatened of being fucking sued. When Eduardo confronted him, he had acted as if it wasn't his business. As if he didn't need his help. He didn't show Mark how much it had hurt. It was the first time Mark had talked to him as if he wasn't a part of this project.

They had met the girls in a bar. While Eduardo had managed to pretend to have some interest on the girl he was with, Mark had not gone through the trouble. He swallowed two shots of something he didn't know what it was and didn't bother paying much attention to their talk. He was lucky that Alice had only one thing in her mind.

He suddenly stood up and grabbed her hand, almost as if he wanted to get it over with as soon s possible. And by the time Eduardo was pressed against the wall with Christy all over him, he felt devastated. He felt responsible for getting Mark into this, even if he was probably enjoying himself not far from him. He felt ashamed of doing this to this girl. He had messed everything up. And still, even when Christy went down on him, his attention was all focused on the noises Mark was making. It was what kept him turned on.

The had walked back to their campus with Eduardo feeling miserable and Mark looking pensive, his hands shoved in his pockets and his head bowed. If Eduardo wasn't tired of guessing things about Mark, he would have thought something had upset him. He certainly didn't look like someone who had just gotten some.

As Mark concentrated on expanding the network, Eduardo found himself involved with the girl without knowing how. Well, actually, he had an idea. He saw her as a chance to get Mark out of his head. If he did that, maybe he could save their friendship. And his sanity as well, who knew?

Mark asked him about her occasionally. Eduardo told him he didn't like the way she acted, that it was always disordered in some way. Mark never gave him advices, claiming he was much less experienced on this. It was awkward. It was rare for Mark to ask about people's life. It's not that he didn't care; he just didn't ask and Eduardo was used to be the one looking for him if he needed to talk. Sometimes, if he felt Eduardo was distressed, he asked. But insisting on any subject like this? No way, unless there was something on his mind. Why did he bother asking about Christy of all things?

Eduardo tried to convince himself Mark was jealous of him having a girlfriend, just as he had been jealous when he was called to join the Phoenix club.

Until Sean came into their lives, that is. Mark's life, actually. Because Sean had never acted as if Eduardo was there, in first place.

Aside from being ridiculously jealous of the way Mark listened to Sean as if he were God, Eduardo truly didn't trust the guy. Sean had just inserted himself in the business with such an arrogant attitude that pissed Eduardo off as much as it appeared to fascinate Mark, hell knows why.

Sean was everything Eduardo was not. He was overly confident, didn't care what others would think of him, didn't play by anyone's rules. That his personality had attracted Mark so easily was shocking to Eduardo. Didn't Mark realize this guy was an opportunist?

Mark saw Sean as everything he was trying so hardly to be: popular and respected. Mark and his _I'm no one_complex. He had always tried to replace his lack of social abilities relying on his intellect. Sean had guessed it the minute he met Mark and had taken advantage of his weakness by feeding his self confidence.

But the truth was Mark was brilliant on his own. Eduardo told him that all the time. Why did he trust Sean better?

Back then, Eduardo was the one who didn't realize Mark was just too naïve. He was acting as a kid in front of their idol. He only knew it now.

Eduardo had tried to protect him as his instincts had told him to. He really, really feared Sean's inconsequence. Even if in the end Sean been crucial to Facebook's successful outcome, Eduardo didn't regret a single time he had warned Mark against him. He was doing his job as someone who cared about Mark. It did hurt him that Mark failed to see it, though.

He suspected the whole _"You should come to California, Mark"_ thing had been Sean's plan to separate him from Mark, so that Sean would definitely play a bigger role than Eduardo's. And really, did Mark actually believe Sean had been just passing by when he showed up at his door?

If he could choose, Eduardo would have gone with him. But he was concentrating on being CFO. He didn't deny Mark the money and tried to convince himself that going to New York was the best for the company and for his friendship with Mark. Maybe a little while away from him would help refreshing his mind…

"Ok, you go to California, Mark. I can't"

When Eduardo announced that, Mark had his back turned to him, clearly busy checking some Facebook business on the internet. He quit whatever he was doing and turned on his chair to face Eduardo.

The look on his face made Eduardo's chest tighten. Mark didn't try to hide it, and it was so rare for him to show himself this vulnerable.

"Oh…and why is that?"

"My father arranged me an internship in New York. Gotta take the opportunity to look for announcers, also."

"Wardo, you don't have to. We have more important things to worry about than chasing boring announcements. Sean also thinks so."

_Is Sean your CFO?_ – he almost shouted at Mark, but restrained himself

"I have the internship anyway. I have to go, Mark."

"I see… Do what you must then, Wardo. It's a good opportunity for you, right?" – Mark had said, giving him a small smile that failed to look completely happy.

Eduardo nodded stoically.

"Is…Is Christy going with you?" – very casually. Because Mark had just asked for asking, you know, it wasn't his business.

"No. She's staying."

Mark's back could have relaxed. He could have let out a breath. Eduardo didn't dare guessing this kind of thing anymore.

"I see. I hope you at least come for a weekend?"

"We'll see."

On the Friday before his first weekend in New York, Mark had called him. They were working harder than ever making huge progress. Eduardo had asked him if he was eating and sleeping. Mark had given him an unconvincing _Sure, otherwise I would be dead_, but Eduardo knew he had extraordinary resistance to go too long without seeing to his _basic human needs_ and told him to put Chris or Dustin on the phone to confirm it. Mark rolled his eyes, put someone on the phone who said _"He eats at least once a day and sleeps every two"_ and gave the phone back to Mark. It was almost as if nothing had ever changed in their lives.

"I need my CFO."

Eduardo wondered if Mark had heard his breath caught in his throat when he said that. He let out a nervous laugh.

"I'm being your CFO, Mark. Every day I look for announcers. Still nothing, but I won't give up."

But Mark had not sounded convinced of his efforts and went on stating _Everything is happening here, Wardo._

So Eduardo took the plane to California that same night. He waited at the airport. Mark wasn't answering his phone. After 2 hours, he thought something terrible must have happened, otherwise, Mark would be there, right?

He heard sounds of girls screaming and laughing on the other side of the street, even through the rain that was falling hard. Sean opened the door and Eduardo froze. He felt poisoned with anger._What was this guy doing here?_

Sean took a minute to study him, taking in his distress. He was clearly satisfied with what he saw. Eduardo exchanged some words with him, restraining himself really hard from losing it in front of him. Sean had tried to pick up a fight but he wasn't going to waste a minute of his time arguing with him of all people. _ Plus, now he could only think of…_

Someone poked him on his shoulder.

"Wardo! You're here!"

Mark was showing him one of his rare smiles. Eduardo usually would show him an even bigger one for this.

When Mark saw the look on his face, he removed the hand that had stayed on his arm and went pale.

"How was the internship? What about Christy?"

_What the?_

When he closed the door behind them and turned to Mark, he had that stupid, red candy hanging out of his mouth and there was an infuriating mix of apprehension and petulance on his face when he met Eduardo's eyes.

"The intern…Mark! I quit it, I told you on the phone!"

"That's right, I recall you mentioned something like that…"

Eduardo stared at him in disbelief, putting distance between them.

"What about Christy?" – Mark repeated, following him.

_Christy! Christy! He forgot everything else, but he always mentioned Christy!_

"She's crazy!"

"Still, it's nice to have a girlfriend, right?"

Eduardo pressed a hand against his forehead, exasperated.

"Mark… I don't want this guy as part of the company."

Then Mark gave him a speech of how Eduardo had to move with them, how everything was happening here and now, how it was moving faster than they had predicted.

"You're going to get left behind."

Eduardo froze. Mark lowered his voice and went on.

"I need you here… Please don't tell him I said that."

What the hell? Was he afraid of Sean? Did he need his approval to keep Eduardo on this now?

_Did he need him or was he going to get left behind?_

_The only time Mark had ever seemed to need him, he had failed him._

There was more of Mark throwing on his face how his efforts were worth nothing and how Sean's were everything. By now, Eduardo was so shocked that his brain had gone numb, so that his anger had vanished.

"What do you mean get left behind?"

"It's your choice you know."

Eduardo closed his eyes. It was a nightmare. He walked away and locked himself in his room.

If there was one thing, Eduardo admitted, he had _purposefully_ done that could have really screwed with everything, it was freezing the damn account. Still, he reserved himself the right to be_completely out of his mind_ given his position.

It's not that he didn't regret it now. He would never forgive himself if the impact had been grave. But Mark only cared about this. He only saw this. There was no other way of making him listen.

One talk over the phone and Eduardo yielded. Mark was _mad_, he had switched from his _casual, because I don't care_ tone to something slightly desperate but it wasn't because he thought Eduardo was upset with him, it wasn't for them, it was for Facebook's sake.

Things had gone relatively back to how they were. Except Mark stopped mentioning Facebook to Eduardo, unless he asked. He nodded at Eduardo's comments but always found a way to dismiss the subject.

Before Eduardo could figure what was going on, came the ambush.

He could still feel the fury taking over every nerve on his body. He already knew he had to take his anger on _something_, and he would never hurt Mark, so, the laptop served him well.

When he threw it on the floor with all his strength, Mark flinched really hard and went still. His eyes widened to an impossible size, making him look smaller than he was, before going back to normal.

Even when he put up his defiance face, he was afraid Eduardo would hit him, that's for sure. Deep down, in a place unreachable to Eduardo now, it had hurt to see Mark scared of him.

During the lawsuit, Eduardo noticed how Mark paid him full attention, much more than he did to the lawyers. He always looked thoughtful after he listened, distracting himself from his surroundings. But Eduardo had tried to condition his mind to be unaffected by Mark's reactions.

Now Mark came and told him he was the one who had mixed everything up, that he had never realized how Eduardo resented his actions, that he had only acted for business, never considering their relationship had anything to do with it.

That he was shocked to learn everything he did in the lawsuit.

Really? He gave Mark more credit than this. Something didn't fit here.

Eduardo lost himself in wondering.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days went by and the conflict going inside Eduardo was nearly killing him. Thing was, the minute Mark had reached for him and started explaining himself, Eduardo knew Mark had him back, and he suspected Mark knew it, too. Because the only thing he ever needed was to see an effort from Mark's side. Mark had not even said he was sorry, but he had said that…

What was it he had said, again?

Mark had never been good with words, and each time he made an attempt of pointing some mistake of his, he managed to accuse Eduardo as well.

Which could be quite infuriating.

Anyway, they had talked for over an hour, and Eduardo had even cried in the middle of it, and Mark had gone on and on, but judging from Eduardo's memory, he had not said much in the end.

Who cared for words.

If Eduardo was honest with himself, which he was, he would admit that what really, really counted for him was that _Mark had come and showed he missed him_.

The other part of Eduardo, however, maybe a new acquired sense of self-preservation, was not at ease. Because it was not what he had planned, you know. He wasn't supposed to _not be mad anymore._ He wasn't supposed to trust Mark again so easily. Not that he did trust him again completely, but he _wanted to do so really badly. _He wished that things went back to how they were, wished he didn't feel betrayed anymore.

Still, after two days, Eduardo surrenders to the fact that he wants to give Mark a chance and that if he doesn't do anything, there won't be a chance. As Eduardo headed towards Mark's hotel, he hoped Mark had planned to stay for more than the weekend.

He reached the reception of the modest looking place. This was so Mark like.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for Mark Zuckerberg, he's staying on the 5th floor."

The woman behind the balcony took the phone and called, but no one answered.

"Excuse me, what's your name, sir?", she asked him.

"Eduardo Saverin."

" said that if you showed up, you could wait."

Eduardo considered this for a minute. He could wait, it wasn't late. Plus, who knew how much time Mark would stay?

The receptionist suggested he could wait on the bar.

The place wasn't empty. There was a guy playing the piano. Some businessman still with their suitcases. A couple of tourists. And Mark, sitting alone by the window that showed tall buildings and lights against the night sky. He had his laptop in front of him, but for once, he wasn't typing, but staring at the window, his chin resting on his hand. There was an empty glass with ice on his table. As Eduardo came closer, he noticed Mark's usual pale cheeks were flushed.

"Mark?"

He didn't look surprised with Eduardo's presence.

"You came."

It wasn't like Mark making obvious statements, really. Eduardo was sort of confused, but took a sit nonetheless. A waiter came as soon as he had sat.

"One more, please" – Mark ordered, raising his glass. Eduardo noticed his arm was trembling. The waiter shot him a troubled glance before looking at Eduardo.

"Sir… I'm sorry but… This is not his third or fourth drink, if you know what I mean."

Mark frowned.

"This is not his business or yours! Just bring me another!"

The waiter looked completely lost at this.

"It's ok, you can go, I'll deal with him."

The man nodded and left. Mark fixed Eduardo with a feverish gaze.

"Well, since you've ruined my chances of getting wasted, we can at least talk with me being sober. I presume that's why you came, right?"

"Don't be silly, you're not sober, Mark. I'm not talking to you like this."

"But you should. Who knows, I may even be honest this time."

"Mark." – he said warningly – "Lets not fight, ok?"

"But we have to talk!" – there was a verge of panic to his voice.

"We'll talk tomorrow. I'll come back here ok?" – Eduardo said in a soothing tone.

"Ok. I have to pee." – Mark announced and it came sort of loud. A few people turned their heads. He stood up and completely lost his balance, falling ungracefully on his butt. Eduardo lifted him and sat him back on his chair.

"I'll help you get to your room."

"No need. I'll keep here."

"Mark, you're so drunk you can't stand on your feet."

"Eventually I will."

"I'm taking you." – Eduardo stated, already reaching for him. Mark slapped his hands and lifted his chin.

"You won't."

Eduardo came close and crossed his hands.

"You may come with me by your will. Or you may not and let everyone watch as I drag you kicking and screaming. Guess it won't be pleasant news. Facebook's CEO gets his drunk ass carried out of a bar by his polemic ex-friend."

Mark scowled and tightened his lips, glaring, but went still. Eduardo encircled his waist and lifted him from the chair. He half carried, half helped Mark walk to the elevator. Once they reached his floor, he just picked him, as it was easier anyway. Mark didn't protest. Eduardo would enjoy having him against his chest if Mark didn't look so sick by now. Walking had not done him any good.

Eduardo carried him straight to the bathroom, where he ran to the vase and instantly threw up. By the time he was done his throat was sore and he was coughing. Eduardo kneeled by his side and brushed some curls from his forehead.

"How do you feel?"

"Awful. Still sick, I think."

"Still have to throw up?"

Mark shook his head.

"Can't."

Eduardo kept softly caressing his head.

"I need a shower."

Eduardo nodded, stood up and helped Mark do the same. He would have offered to help him if he didn't know how strange it would sound. Mark looked so weak he didn't know how he would keep himself up.

"Are you leaving already?"

Mark was turning the water on.

"I'm waiting outside."

When Mark came out wrapped up in his towel, Eduardo gave him clothes he had already picked for him. Mark got dressed and went straight to his room, Eduardo on his back. Mark threw himself on his bed and Eduardo stopped by the door, studying him. Mark was still pale and had closed his eyes. Eduardo thought he was asleep and was turning to go when he said,

"I knew it wouldn't work. It was my mistake…"

Eduardo frowned and turned back. Mark's voice was barely audible. He considered just leaving anyway, since Mark still drunk, but Mark went on mumbling

"We clearly diverged in opinions. I knew it. I still asked you to be CFO. It ruined everything."

"Mark… go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow ok? I'll be here first thing in the morning."

Mark looked like he was making a great effort to keep himself awake. He nodded, and when Eduardo said _Good night,_ he was almost immediately out.

Mark's confession had not surprised him. He had kind of gotten this message when he was kicked out.

On the day after, at Mark's door, Eduardo was wondering how many times he would have to knock before Mark answered. Not that Mark was a heavy sleeper; he just went to sleep when he was on the verge of passing out. Surprisingly, he opened at the first knock, not looking as terrible as Eduardo thought he would. Only his curls were a mess and he was rubbing his eyes. He probably had not washed his face. He gestured for Eduardo to come in.

"What did I do last night?" – was his first sentence, his eyes not even fully opened yet.

"Relax. The worst thing that happened was you falling really hard on your butt, but I don't think anyone recognized you anyway."

"Yeah… nobody stared while I was there. Probably didn't know who I was."

Silence.

"So that's why my ass hurts, after all."

"There was something you said, though." – Eduardo informed, ignoring him.

Mark shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded, not facing him.

"I remember. Wasn't that drunk anymore when I said it."

Then, he looked up and added with clear blue eyes,

"It's true."

Eduardo took some time to assimilate his words, to see if it still hurt. It didn't. He finally sighed.

"I'm not surprised, Mark. I had sort of figured it from everything that happened."

Mark nodded and waited, biting his lower lip.

"Why did you choose me, then?"

"You ar…were my friend.", Mark shrugged, "I wanted you next to me."

_So much for not mixing things up. What else had Mark spoken in codes all this time?_

"I would help anyway. CFO or not."

"I know", he said in frustration, as if he had already considered this many times, "I know, Wardo… I just wanted to do this for you. It was supposed to make you happy."

_You made me happy anyway_

"Why are you only telling me these things now, Mark? God, you were so unreachable back then…"

"I don't think I was the only unreachable one."

Eduardo froze.

"What? Mark, I did everything you asked for!" _To the point of being pathetic_

Mark's unaffected tone was a contrast to Eduardo's,

"When the time came and I needed you with the team, you acted on your own."

"Well, forgive me if I have my own visions and for once didn't follow yours!"

Mark tightened his lips at this.

"I guess you chose a bad time to teach me a lesson, Wardo."

Eduardo felt a myriad of feelings instantly overwhelming him. Guilt, unbearable shame, sadness, anger still there, and at the end, he was rendered speechless. He opened his mouth, didn't find what to say and closed it.

For the first time, he felt selfish in this story. It was quite a shock. He lowered his gaze and waited.

A hand on his shoulder startled him.

"Hey, relax… It's over now."

Eduardo shook his head.

"No… You are right, I really mixed things up. I could have ruined everything."

"You should leave it behind. I'm telling you I'm not mad anymore.", Mark said, somehow exasperated. He didn't seem to get why Eduardo was so miserable.

"You don't get it. I'm mad at myself!", and a self-deprecating laugh escaped Eduardo's mouth. Mark hated it immediately. He narrowed his eyes, shook his head.

"I don't really get you. You came here and you were so mad at me I was convinced nothing could change your mind. Now you act as if everything is your goddamn fault. Can you act any more extreme, please? This isn't hard enough, after all."

Eduardo sighed. This was so Mark like. No point in mourning over the past. Something's troubling you? Either do something about it _now_ or just ignore it.

Which meant that Eduardo walking out of his life had only started bothering him now. Which meant that, until now, he was ignoring the issue. Or trying to. Well, Eduardo had tried to ignore Mark's existence too, but only because he felt like he was being _forced_ to do it, and it hurt like hell. How could Mark just freely decide to ignore him all this time?

Or did Mark somehow also feel forced to?

Judging from how things were going, Eduardo thought he would never be sure, and it was so infuriating. Eduardo threw his frustration back at Mark.

"I don't know how you deal with screwing things for someone you care, Mark, but I can't just be at ease with it."

"I don't know what else to say. We made mistakes, we are dealing with it. What else do you suggest, Wardo? I came to you, we're talking, what else do you want?"

Mark had never stopped calling him that. Either he was really certain things would go back to normal or he didn't put too much thought on this.

Or maybe he just couldn't help it.

_What else did he suggest? Well, maybe Mark could start by showing he regretted his actions at least a little. Half of what Eduardo was feeling would be enough._

Eduardo was tired of telling Mark how he was supposed to act or feel. It was wrong.

"I don't think I have to ask for anything, it has to come from you!"

"You're wrong! You have to ask, I don't read minds, you know!"

Eduardo went quiet. Mark had raised his voice slightly, which was a rare event. A heavy silence fell upon them. Eduardo noticed that Mark looked tense. He knew it from the way his usually straight shoulders were curved down the way they got after Mark had gone too long without sleeping.

Obviously, Eduardo felt guilty for this. He was a lost cause.

He was making everything worse.

"I'd better go.", he announced, already heading to the door.

Mark's usually blank face was caught in surprise.

"This is ridiculous. It's the second time you just leave in the middle of this. So much for dealing with the facts!"

"We're not getting anywhere, Mark. Can't you see?"

"Let's grab some coffee, then."

"What?"

"Please."

Eduardo blinked at him. Mark took his hands out of his pockets, realized he didn't know what to do with them and put them back there, before finally meeting Eduardo's eyes. He looked completely lost.

"Lets.", Eduardo conceded, and Mark's eyes brightened for a minute, a brief smile showing on his face, before he asked Eduardo to wait a minute while he got dressed. They got out of the hotel and Eduardo drove them to that same coffee shop of two days ago.

Awkward wasn't nearly enough to describe the sensation of hanging out together again. It both seemed like it had never really changed, and that it had been ages since they had been like this. Eduardo's instincts were screaming at him _Red alert, Red alert!_, but he did his best to ignore it.

Mark kept his head lowered until they reached the place. They grabbed a sit and ordered. As Eduardo sipped his coffee, he thought of how awful he felt. Instead of relieving some of the heaviness, talking had made everything worse. And he knew that part of it was his fault. He knew he had too many expectations when it came to Mark. Had he overreacted? _And couldn't he stop doubting himself for a fucking minute?_

Still, he was glad Mark had asked him to stay. If he had left, he would have gone nuts on his own.

"You are right, you know", Mark suddenly informed him through a mouthful of donut.

"Huh?"

"I should have talked to you sooner. The idea crossed my mind so many times, but I was just too caught up with Facebook to actually do something. It drained all my energy. You know how I get… when I dedicate myself to a task, I… I can't do anything else."

Eduardo raised an eyebrow at this, because Mark was clearly still holding something here.

"Plus, you had your own stuff which kept you distant.", Mark added in a lower voice, shrugging. As if it wasn't a big deal. But his eyes weren't meeting Eduardo's. Mark usually faced people.

"I would have listened if you came, Mark."

"I couldn't come. I was working. You had more free time."

"It wasn't free time. I was at Harvard, you know it"

"Well, you were also dating. And clubbing."

"Mark, I broke up with Christy as soon as I was back at Harvard, I told you! And Phoenix was not on my daily schedule, you know!"

"Whatever. It's a question of priorities."

Then Eduardo remembered. _"I felt as if you had deserted Facebook, and, well, me"_. Two days ago, Mark had told him that, and at the time Eduardo had thought _How could you even suggest I abandoned you_, but now he realized he had made a grave mistake assuming Mark and Facebook were completely different things. Because to Mark, that wasn't the case. And while Eduardo had not deserted Mark, he had most certainly done it with his creation.

Eduardo remembered Mark's distressed words over the phone, that distant (but still painfully vivid) day he had frozen the account. Mark told him he was willing to forgive him. Eduardo was so relieved he forgot about everything else, including that he _was still CFO._ And during all those months when Mark had been at Palo Alto and Eduardo was back to Harvard, all he could think about was how much he wished he was there, making a difference to Mark, but he couldn't, and also, somehow, he felt his help wasn't that needed. And since he was still awfully in love and Mark was distant (both physically and mentally), Eduardo had tried to act as if it was natural, acting a little distant himself.

Mark was suddenly avoiding Facebook related subjects, and so Eduardo had let it pass, instead of playing his role and demanding to know what the hell was going on.

In the end, it was all about letting his feelings get in the way. It was a cruel irony that while he was busy trying to show Mark how much he cared, he ended neglecting Mark's dearest thing.

He looked across the table, expecting to find Mark's usual blank stare. Maybe it was Eduardo who was looking in a different way. But Mark's expression looked the most _human _he had ever seen, completely disarmed, his eyes looking up from wherever they had been fixed. There was no judgment on them as they openly fixed on Eduardo.

God, it went straight to his chest, crushing it like claws, the claws of that monster reawakening in him.

Eduardo saw it as a monster. It had only brought him misery.

"Mark", Eduardo started, ignoring the knot on his throat, – "I don't even know what to say. I… I think what you did is genius. I can't even begin to explain how proud you made me, ok? Forgive me if sometimes it didn't sound so". He paused, before quietly adding - "It's just that deep down, I never thought you needed me much for this"

God, he felt pathetic saying this. Like he was whining or something. He waited for Mark to roll his eyes or just ignore him, and was quite startled when Mark shook his hand. He was frowning.

"Hey, we've gone through this. Plus, you were the first to trust Facebook. We may have diverged in ideas, but that doesn't mean you are not smart. You really are. I never meant to make you think otherwise"

Eduardo was incapable to form a proper answer. Mark's eyes kept locked with his, and Eduardo easily lost himself there. Thankfully, he caught himself before doing something like, _like, he didn't even know._

Instead, he managed to conclude what he had started.

"Also, you did well following your mind"

Mark lowered his face to hide a small smile that included dimples.

"Thanks, Wardo."

Really, was Mark actually surprised to hear that? Eduardo would have to reconsider what he believed was _obvious display _of feelings. When it came to Mark, you never knew.

"So, for how long do you plan to stay?", he asked after a short and welcome silence.

"Have to go back today, in a few hours."

"I see."

"But I can come back." – Mark said almost immediately, as if he knew he wouldn't say it if he thought too much.

Eduardo gasped and his eyes widened.

"What about work?"

"I can solve anything with my laptop. If anything's out of control, they'll let me know. Plus, I'm CEO."

"Bitch."

"Exactly.", Mark concluded with a smirk.

Eduardo laughed, feeling some of the tension leaving his shoulders. He watched the city through the window, sipping his coffee.

Later, he drove Mark to the airport and kept him company until the time of his flight. Mark had not asked him; Eduardo had just gone with him. They had sat each with his laptop, their knees touching and Mark finishing some code while Eduardo sent some emails, since he had simply missed work today.

Mark seemed to suddenly realize it.

"I didn't know I was keeping you from work."

Eduardo answered without looking away from the screen.

"You didn't. It was my choice."

Mark shrugged and went back to typing. Sometimes, his shoulders brushed Eduardo's, who suddenly gave up his task, even if he still pretended to read. He risked a glance to his side. Mark had not advanced much with his coding.

And then, when it was time to go,

"It was good to see you, Wardo.", Mark said.

Then he _hugged_ Eduardo.

It wasn't exactly a hug, it was true, with only one rigid arm on Eduardo's back and all, but when Eduardo realized the arm was there for more than five seconds, he pulled Mark closer.

"You too, you know."

And since Mark's head barely reached his shoulder, his curls brushed Eduardo's chin and Eduardo's heart skipped a beat. Before they parted, he thought he felt Mark's face on his chest, but it could have been on his mind.

Mark was gone in an instant, before their eyes could meet. It took a couple of minutes before Eduardo realized he was still looking at the direction where Mark had disappeared.

_It's going to start all over again._

Not that it had ever stopped. But without Mark's presence, and with all the _being discarded by him_, he had at least tried really hard to get over it. He most certainly had quit being hopeful. And if there was a chance of his friendship with Mark ever getting back to normal, it certainly didn't include this. Really, it was already hard enough.

This time, the message had come from cell. Now they were well enough to leave emails behind, apparently.

"_Any hotel recommendations? Don't want to get back to that place where I embarrassed myself."_

"_I know only one that's close to my place. The Wi-Fi sucks, though. I know others that are farther."_

"_I told you I'm taking some time off." _

"_If you say so…"_

"_You don't trust me." _

Eduardo almost could read the _still _in the middle of the sentence.

"_I trust your intentions. But I've seen enough to trust your work obsession better."_

After this last message, Eduardo went several days without hearing from Mark. It had almost been two weeks since they had met and Eduardo was just about to ask Mark to come, when Mark had disappeared. Eduardo figured it must be some Facebook issue, which probably had Mark stuck in his office 24/7, _hopefully with someone to make sure he didn't die._

After five days, he decided to call. He was surprised by Dustin's voice answering him.

"Wardo, man! What's up?"

"Dustin? Where's Mark?"

"Oh, sure, it's him you called. Mark can't talk now. He's sleeping. You know, better leave him. Who knows when it'll happen again."

"What's going on?"

"Well, nobody knows. He doubled his schedule out of nowhere, trying to get the work of a whole week done in a single day. Everyone went crazy, some interns threatened to quit, so he stopped making others do it, but he kept on his own. After three nights without sleeping and enough Redbull, he collapsed. Doctor said it was from exhaustion and dehydration; you know how caffeine is diuretic and stuff. You always lectured Mark about it. Anyway, it's your usual Mark bullshit."

"Shit!"

"I know! Now it's either me or Chris here with him until he wakes up. He's gotta have our asses for not being at work, but he had it coming."

Eduardo didn't answer right away, and there was an extended silence, so Dustin risked the forbidden subject.

"So, you and him, again?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Dustin heard some typing sounds on Eduardo's background.

"You know what I mean."

Dustin's attempt at seriousness was hilarious.

"We're trying. Look, Dustin, I've just gotten myself a ticket. I'll be there tomorrow morning. Could you give me his address?"

Eduardo only stopped to wonder if he was doing the right thing when he was on the airport and his flight had been delayed and he thought _the universe is offering me a second chance to let it go._ It turned out he didn't. If you asked him, he wouldn't have a clue as to _why in the world he had thought this was a good idea._ Surely he had the urge to be by Mark's side if he was sick. But was it his place to do it now? Wasn't he forcing something, rushing the process?

He missed him so much. But Eduardo had tried to bury his need for Mark for so long that it just felt wrong now.

He heard raised, arguing voices even before he reached Mark's door. Chris's car was parked in front of the building, and he could clearly distinct his voice inside the apartment,

"You're a selfish bastard!"

Eduardo knocked. When the door opened, he was greeted by an exhausted looking Dustin.

"Wardo"

Chris had his back to him and was facing Mark, who had his bag over his shoulder and was glaring at Chris but didn't look very threatening because he looked awful.

When Mark saw him, he rolled his eyes.

"Did you call him? This is ridiculous."

Indeed, Eduardo felt ridiculous. His eyes had gone from Dustin to Mark and now fell on Chris, who didn't look surprised to see him.

"No one called me."

And he felt even more ridiculous.

It appeared that everyone was waiting for his reaction. He shrugged.

"I called you yesterday. Dustin filled me in."

Mark glared at Dustin.

"You let him come. You know now it's not a good time. You know I have meetings and other stuff to solve."

"It's all been rescheduled, Mark. And there's nothing wrong with the site! You should be resting now!"

"How much do you plan on staying?", Mark asked, suddenly turning to Eduardo.

"Well, since you're done with me, I'm going to the office", Dustin declared, trying to sound dry and totally failing.

"Wait! You're taking me with you! Unless…" – he looked at Eduardo in annoyance – "So? Did you come to stay?"

Eduardo, who was getting dizzy from following the argument, and felt terribly out of place, mumbled

"I cancelled my appointments for next three days"

Apparently there was no limit to his stupidity.

Mark nodded to himself.

"So, I'm going to work today. From tomorrow, I'll be free. That ok?", he asked without really asking, running after Dustin who had managed to open the front door and was just leaving.

When he passed Eduardo, a hand on his arm stopped him. Mark went instantly tense and looked up. Eduardo was suddenly hyper aware of the closeness, and tried to keep his voice steady.

"Why are you doing this? Can't you act like the adult you are?"

Mark tried to pull back, but really, aside from Eduardo's evident physical advantage, he was weakened from mistreatment. He looked at Eduardo in confusion, and Eduardo held his gaze, but after a moment he let Mark go.

"I'm trying to, but all of you insist on babysitting me.", he dryly commented.

"We're not _babysitting_ you, we just care and you don't give a _fuck_ about it, you only think of yourself, like a self-centered child!"

Everyone, including Mark, stared with widened eyes at Eduardo, who thought _now is the time when Mark asks me who gave me the right to intrude like that._

When the sound of Mark's bag hit the floor and Mark fled from the scene up to his room, everyone was frozen in their places until Dustin shrugged.

"Told you Wardo would make it", he muttered to Chris before waving to them and leaving, claiming he was late.

Chris, who would be the one to stay with Mark today, told him how the doctor had insisted Mark took at least three days off. When inquired, Chris also couldn't tell Mark's reason to suddenly double his work.

"So, how are things between you and him?"

Eduardo shook his head and sighed.

"If you came visit, I assume Mark apologized at least.

Eduardo chuckled.

"If I think about it now, I'm the one who did, not only once. Go figure."

Chris's eyes went wide. Then he looked thoughtful.

"You don't sound like you're angry anymore."

Eduardo shrugged.

"I was. Then Mark came. We talked. I can't recall what he said. He made me even angrier. Then I realized he was saying hurtful things because he was hurt."

Chris nodded. He knew Mark, so he knew what Eduardo was talking about.

After Chris left, Eduardo sighed deeply and while he wondered if he should go find Mark, Mark came down, looking weird with swollen, red eyes, as if he had rubbed them. Or something else.

Mark stopped in front of his thrown bag and picked it, holding it to his chest.

"Did Chris leave?"

Eduardo nodded.

"Was he very mad?"

Eduardo shook his head.

"He looked too tired to be mad"

Mark tightened his lips even more and went quiet, his gaze lost somewhere.

"You should talk to them"

"Already did, just texted them", he answered distractedly, sitting on the floor with the laptop on his lap.

"You apologized?" Eduardo asked, not even trying to hide his disbelief.

Mark scowled without looking up from the screen.

"Apologies are worth nothing. I thanked them for their help and told them I didn't mean to cause trouble"

_Oh, that explains a lot. _Eduardo had to suppress a smile. Mark seemed to notice and scowled deeper, but it didn't last long. He finally looked up.

"I didn't think you'd come. You didn't have to, you know… to cancel your appointments"

Eduardo shrugged and mimicked Mark, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed.

"I was worried"

"Still, I didn't think you'd come. I was trying to get lots of work done, so I'd visit you."

Eduardo's eyes widened

"Are you kidding? Why would you do that? You could have talked to me, I'd come!"

"I'm telling you, I don't think you would", Mark insisted and there was something petulant to his tone, something like, _like_ _a challenge._

Eduardo's eyes narrowed.

"I'm here.", he almost growled making Mark look at him in apprehension for a moment, but didn't keep him from saying,

"It's different; you thought I was sick. You probably came because otherwise you'd feel guilty or something"

"Yeah, maybe I would", Eduardo said back, gritting his teeth, "But that's not the only reason I came"

Mark looked relieved at that. He released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I'm glad you did", he said and for some reason it came out sort of breathless. Mark blushed and quickly lowered his eyes back to the screen.

"Come, I want to show you something", he gestured for Eduardo to move closer. Eduardo dragged himself, positioning his body partly next to Mark and partly behind him, and looking over his shoulder to whatever he was pointing. It was Facebook's main page, at the bottom of which he read,

_Co-founder: Eduardo Saverin_

"Why did you do it?"

Eduardo himself was startled by the harshness of his tone. Mark didn't seem to notice, or care.

"Because it's true" _Despite everything else_, Eduardo almost could hear.

"Mark… What about the others, they may not agree to that…"

"It's been taken care of. Everyone knows."

"Was it your idea?"

Mark nodded.

Eduardo raised his long legs and held his knees close. He was grateful, proud, and also nervous, but the situation was overwhelming and he didn't wish to talk about it now. Not that Mark was expecting him too. He had turned back to the screen, totally respecting Eduardo's moment.

As the time went by, Mark started leaning his head back and suddenly it was undoubtedly resting on Eduardo's shoulder as he typed. Eduardo felt his heart jumping so fast he was sure it could be heard. He tried to calm down, and after a while he moved forward, so that Mark was completely leaning on him.

_God, what was he doing?_

He wanted so much to turn this moment into something else, and _what was Mark thinking? There was no way Eduardo would buy the unawareness excuse now!_

After enough hesitation, he lifted his hand to Mark's curls, softly caressing them. He couldn't see Mark's face, but he was amazed at how Mark's breathing got softer, his head feeling heavier on Eduardo's shoulder, just the way it used to be back at Harvard, when he was the only one who got to see Mark at this state.

Eduardo was slowly getting his own breathing under control. He could do nothing about the butterflies on his stomach, though.

He was on the verge of turning Mark to him when he realized Mark had _fallen asleep._

_Damn Mark and his amazing, infuriating escaping abilities! _

Eduardo shook him. Mark blinked sleepily at him.

"Mark, go to sleep in your bed ok?"

Mark nodded but kept on his place. He shot Eduardo one clear, blue eyed look, before averting his eyes. Not standing up, not mumbling a _goodbye _with his back already turned to him, no, because why make it fucking easier? He looked almost… lost. And adorable.

"Mark…", he whispered, and though he knew he was going to deeply regret it, Eduardo raised his hand and rested it on Mark's face, watching as his eyes widened and locked with his. There was no stepping back, no pushing Eduardo away, and part of him was surprised while part of him wasn't, but he just didn't care as he leaned down and kissed Mark.

Mark went instantly tense, but Eduardo knew of his issue with touching, so he gently moved his lips over Mark's, keeping Mark's face cupped between his hands, caressing his cheek, until Mark started to relax and let out a small moan that made Eduardo go wild with excitement, because _God, Mark wanted this._ Still, he kept it slow, kissing and licking outside his lips, only going into his mouth when Mark encouraged him with hands that were now on Eduardo's neck.

Eduardo pulled Mark closer, and the feeling of Mark's whole body pressed against his was, it was, _there was no way to describe it, _as there was no way to describe the feeling of _licking into Mark's mouth_ and sensing as he trembled, pressing his fingers into Eduardo's nape, moving his tongue lazily against his, probably because he was still sleepy.

Nope, there was not even getting close to describing it, except that it was so fucking awesome that it made every single nerve on his body tingle and it filled him with so much at once that his heart seemed as it would burst out of his chest, because it was beating so wildly it scared him.

They had parted the kiss and were panting close to each other, their breaths almost a touch, when Eduardo, out of curiosity, lifted his fingers to Mark's neck, sensing the pulse there, amazed at how it was as rushed as his own. He rested his forehead to Mark's. Who was staring at him with lazy eyes, flushed cheeks and wet lips, looking so beautiful, _so open,_ Eduardo found himself losing the breath he had just managed to catch again.

"God, Mark", he panted, and Mark embraced his neck, not breaking eye contact. Eduardo really thought he was going to lose it. Having Mark touching him, and especially _looking_ at him like this was overwhelming.

Eduardo leaned down, placed a kiss on each corner of his mouth, before caressing his lips with a thumb, watching in awe as Mark leaned into the touch. Mark blushed and Eduardo smiled, because only Mark could blush at this after they had just tongue-kissed. Unsurprisingly, Mark scowled at him.

"What?" he snapped, clearly embarrassed

"Nothing", Eduardo chuckled, "It was just cute seeing you blush"

Naturally, Mark's scowl got deeper

"It's because you were staring like I was, I don't even know, walking on the water or something!"

Eduardo shrugged.

"I promise to get a hold of myself next time", he said, faking extreme seriousness, and Mark laughed. Eduardo smiled broadly; he always did when he got to make Mark laugh.

They kissed again, this time not so lazily; their tongues were quickly involved, their bodies tightly pressed, and it got rough when Mark's fingers started scratching at Eduardo's shoulders, making him shiver. Then Eduardo moved his hand to Mark's hair, and slowly, but firmly, pulled at it.

Mark let out a _loud noise._

Eduardo was so startled he almost stopped the kissing, but then Mark was burying fingertips into his shoulder, kissing him deeper, pressing his hips against Eduardo's with urgency, so Eduardo pulled him by the waist, lowering his fingers to the curls on Mark's nape and pulled again, with enough strength to make Mark's neck stretch. Mark didn't resist, going with it, and in a low, strangled voice he whispered, "Wardo",

It went _straight_ to Eduardo's groin.

He moved his lips to Mark's offered neck, feeling his small shivers, before Mark returned the favor, placing hungry kisses to Eduardo's jaw, behind his ear, and he could feel Mark's warm breath on his skin, and he was groaning, grabbing Mark's waist, lowering them to the floor with Mark on top.

They started rubbing against each other, Mark with his arms on either side of Eduardo's head, Eduardo with hands on his hips, pressing him down. Mark stopped a minute, straddling him, taking his shirt off, Eduardo mimicking him, and they went back to rubbing. Mark breathing hard on his neck, Eduardo's hands on the small of Mark's back, then on his head, lifting it for a breathless kiss, and suddenly the urgency on their movements was greater, Eduardo closed his eyes, groaning something in Portuguese, which in its turn seemed to affect Mark, because he was suddenly shaking, coming right after Eduardo, with his face buried on his shoulder and Eduardo's hands stroking his sides.

Afterwards, they kept embraced for a while, still lying on the floor, panting. Mark was still part on top of Eduardo, who kept an arm around him, stroking his curls. After a while, Mark rolled to his side, keeping his shoulder pressed to Eduardo's.

Eduardo looked at him; Mark had this foolish smirk on his face, probably a combination only he was capable of, and that gave Eduardo the urge to kiss it away so that Mark instantly quit being petulant.

Actually, he could, if he wanted to. How crazy was this? Not too long ago, he wasn't even sure he should come, and now, _now he couldn't even imagine not coming._

And he didn't know if he was just under the effects of what they had just done, but at the same time it felt unbelievable, it also felt natural, as if it had always been like this.

Well, somehow, it _had always been like this inside his head, _so it made sense in a Eduardo way.

What about Mark?

Since he had been looking at the ceiling, Eduardo didn't notice Mark's hand reaching for his, intertwining their fingers. Eduardo smiled at him, but when Mark smiled back, it was hesitant.

He looked tense.

"What is it?", Eduardo frowned

"Do you regret it?", he let out quickly, as if the words burned him

"God, no! Why would you ask that? I mean… I understand why you'd think that", he nervously explained, and Mark tightened his lips, so he was quick to add, " but I assure you, the answer is no!"

"Yeah, as you said, I wouldn't blame you if you did. Regret it, I mean. And you were quiet. You're never quiet."

Eduardo rolled his eyes and brushed a sweaty curl that was sticking to Mark's forehead.

"I was thinking of how much I've wanted this, and for so damn long"

Then Mark smiled, finally, a true, not-mocking kind.

"And… I was wondering since when _you_'ve wanted this"

Mark rolled his eyes.

"Are you kidding? I was so obvious it was embarrassing", he dryly commented

Eduardo chuckled

"That's far from the truth, Mark. I mean, I had suspicions, but they might as well have been on my mind…"

Eduardo suddenly stopped.

"Wait… You thought I knew?"

Mark nodded.

"And that I rejected you?"

"From deduction, yeah", he tried for sarcasm and Eduardo glared at him, because really, now was not the time.

"Come on, Mark. I had it pretty much written on my face. How could you not notice?"

Mark shrugged.

"You have the advantage of being stupidly kind to everyone. This covered you"

"And you are just too naïve for your own good"

"I'm not naïve! I'm smart."

"They are not exclusive things. Plus, remember Erica? It took you sooo long to realize she was hitting on you"

"She only commented on my blog and we played videogames for weeks!"

"Yeah, and she commented on whatever you posted about, even like you bitching about a boring class"

Mark frowned.

"It could be a friend thing."

"Right"

"Look, I had my suspicions, ok? But like I said, I tried innumerous times, you know", and here, he furiously blushed – "and every time it failed, I lost a little of my confidence"

Eduardo looked at him fondly, amazed at his honesty, and at the same time, knowing it was on Mark's nature. He placed a kiss to his cheek,

"So, you tried to seduce me?", he asked, partly teasing, and part for interest

Mark blushed darker, if it was possible, but looked at Eduardo and firmly nodded.

Eduardo smiled and started thinking loud

"Well, I guess it makes sense in a Markish way… Except…"

"What?", he pressed, and when Eduardo looked at him in hesitation, Mark fixed him with his piercing gaze, defying him to speak out.

Somehow, Eduardo new the heaviness of the past was back upon them, and he knew Mark sensed it, too. It was not that they believed it was completely gone. Neither of them was dumb. It was just that it would always be unexpected, unpredictable. How could they expect to be prepared, especially now?

Given their situation, they were vulnerable. So it hit them with full force. But there was no fooling it.

And Eduardo loved Mark too much to just let it pass.

"It's just that, after you went to Palo Alto, all of my suspicions just vanished."

"And why is that?", Mark asked, his voice suddenly cold, letting go of Eduardo's hand, maybe unconsciously. Eduardo shivered.

"You were acting distant, I've told you once."

"Well, you weren't even there. You can't know that"

"Could you not throw things back at me at least once?"

"I'm not, I'm telling you the truth, you can't just assume things! If you'd been there, you'd see that… Ok, my attentions were 100% turned to Facebook, and I admit this made me… less available. And now I totally realize that if you'd come, you'd probably be even angrier at me, because I'd probably ignore you in person in favor of Facebook."

Eduardo raised an eyebrow, because less available was an understatement, beside the fact that Mark was getting himself into more trouble with his speech. Mark raised a finger, preventing him from interrupting.

"But I really wanted you to be there ok? When you didn't come, I assumed you were not interested, and you had Christy, and Phoenix. I felt… I felt left behind. Even if I pushed forward with all my strength, that's how I felt"

Mark crossed his arms tightly, the way he always did when he felt he had exposed himself too much. His eyes searched for his laptop and Eduardo saw his fingers twitching for it, saw as Mark resisted it with a roll of his eyes, the wrinkles on his forehead getting deeper.

Eduardo was grateful that Mark resisted his impulse of hiding. He longed to comfort him.

However, he had frozen the minute he heard _left behind_.

It couldn't be just a coincidence. But Mark's tone had not been sarcastic, and as Eduardo scrutinized his face, he still didn't find any trace of it. Mark had not said it to hurt him. He was being honest. And it made perfect sense, because that had been exactly Eduardo's intention: to put distance between them. He had wanted Mark to miss him, to value him, because he felt like he was losing Mark.

Apparently, he had succeeded. And he felt like crap.

"I…All I wanted was you attention. I realize it was selfish…", he started, fighting against that familiar sting in his eyes. Mark's eyes widened, he uncrossed his arms, and Eduardo gestured for him to listen

"I also believed it was for the best, Mark! All I wanted was to be there with you, but it scared me so much… I was afraid of not holding my feelings anymore and getting in your way, ruining everything."

"Stop it!", Mark almost growled, and reached for him. He held Eduardo to his chest, and Eduardo gave in, letting tears quietly flow. Mark was running his fingers through his hair, and it felt _so wonderful_, and Mark kept repeating _you're so ridiculous, _and Eduardo smiled through his tears, because only Mark was capable of pronouncing these words with such care.

When he sensed Eduardo had calmed down, he quietly spoke,

"You could never get in my way, Wardo. This was a very stupid thought."

Eduardo chuckled, his head still buried on Mark's chest.

He felt Mark's body going all tense before Mark added,

"But I realize part of it was my fault"

Eduardo's eyes widened, his jaw almost hitting the floor. He lifted his head to look at Mark, who he believed would be avoiding eye contact at any costs, and was startled when Mark, even if slowly, looked up at him.

_Did it hurt to say it?_, was a thought which crossed Eduardo's head, but he could never, ever mock Mark now, because he knew better than anyone else what a big deal it had been for him to say it.

Instead, he leaned down and kissed him again.

It became clear that Mark wasn't expecting this as he released a surprised moan that was instantly muffled when Eduardo's tongue asked for entrance. Mark gave it gladly, his own tongue eagerly meeting Eduardo's, as they moved their lips with such an intensity that yes, involved desire, but also something else that they were both ok with surrendering to now. Eduardo reached for Mark, bringing him close, pretty much devouring his mouth. His hand had only rested on Mark's curls and Mark was already making this low, helpless sounds, and he _had no idea what it did do Eduardo._ Mark was pulling at the shirt on his back with clear urgency and Eduardo knew what to do, but he wanted to take his time and see what it did to Mark.

He scratched his fingers through Mark's scalp, a light touch, and Mark moaned through their kiss. Eduardo kissed the corner of his lips before softly pulling his hair, feeling Mark's arms tighten around his back and smirking as Mark bent his neck, as if Eduardo had pulled harder. This time, though, he did it, firmly but careful not to hurt Mark. He felt Mark hardening against him and now Mark's neck was completely bent for him, and Eduardo leaned down, placing kisses there and licking as Mark pressed his hips against his. Eduardo groaned against his neck and went back to kissing Mark, who grabbed Eduardo's hips and pulled him even closer, producing a continuous friction down there that slowly forced them to part the kiss in favor of losing their breaths and groaning against each other.

Finally Mark had the brilliant idea of just reach into Eduardo's pants and it's not that Eduardo didn't want that. He grabbed Mark's arm, stopping him.

Mark shot him a look that scared him.

"Sorry, Mark", he started in a muffled voice, because he was still panting, and Mark stared at him as if warning _See? Your fault!_

"But you should be resting today, remember?"

Mark stared at him, his face blank.

"You are joking, right? If you are, I'll be straightforward: this is a big turn off."

"I'm not joking", Eduardo said, finally managing not to sound like he was moaning.

"I'll have plenty of time to rest later, and stop mothering me!", he protested.

The he released a long, long yawn.

"See? I know what I'm doing. Bed."

"Right, we can move it to the bed if that's what you want", Mark smirked, but Eduardo ignored him, taking his hand and heading to the stairs, up to Mark's room.


End file.
